Make Me A Bird
by LilyCanBeMyPyjamas
Summary: One is lost among others and within herself, to a degree that might not be healed. The other one is confident and seems to have her life on track, but is there something missing? Naomily. Discontinued.
1. Prologue

! Trigger warning !

Make Me A Bird - Arcane Station, Marianne Hekkilæ

 **Prologue**

The airport bustles around her. Families rushing past her to catch planes, important business men talking in their phones and sellers trying to get their attention for a new product. She just numbly walk in between the madness, the lightness of the location somewhat blinding her after over an hour on a plane.

She reads the signs protruding into the passageway on her way to the baggage claim. The foreign way of putting letters together to form words she's never heard uttered somewhat making her heart stir.

She's made it this far.

Getting her small suitcase takes a bit of waiting. But it doesn't matter, she's in no hurry. In between getting lost in thoughts, she studies the people she travelled with. It's many reasons to come to this city. Vacation. Business. A trip with friends.

It's many reasons indeed. And for her, she's always wanted to come to this city. She's dreamed of it since she was a little girl. The one thing she swore she would do in her life was visit this city. So it was kind of fitting then, that she chose it as her last place to ever visit.

Her baggage safe in her hand, she walks out of the airport, officially setting her feet on another country's soil. It's still early in the day, so the sun breaking through the high pillars flickers in her eyes as she locates the taxies.

She hails a cab and tell the driver to take her to a cheap motel, anything within the heart of the city. She wants to be within walking distance of everything, wants to see the important parts today. It is with a little difficulty, what with the broken english of the polite driver, she gets her message delivered. But when he understands and starts driving, she leans back in the backseat and truly relaxes.

The buildings rushes past her as she comes closer and closer to the end of her travel, and she watches them with interest and a little bit of melancholy staining her heart. It's been her dream to come her for so long that it seems a little unreal, that she's here now.

Still, it's not making things any easier. Yes, it's beautiful, but it can't fix what's broken inside her. What's been broken for years and just had been shattered more and more.

They didn't drive past any attractions before the driver pulled up outside a modest looking motel. She thanks him and give him a generous tip, so much in fact he nearly doesn't take it. But she don't need the money, not after today.

Inside, she finds a little lady with grey, curly hair at the desk looking kindly up at her through thick glasses. Luckily this one speaks english, so she without problems can ask for a single room for a week, insisting on prepaying it in cash. She also gives her a false name, lucky that this place wasn't formal enough to ask for identification or credit card assurance. The price is not half the amount she was counting on, and she nearly ask her to change the reservation for two weeks, but instead pays the share, contemplating if the rest can go to the cleaning staff.

When everything is settled and she's about to go and find her room, the lady behind the counter addresses her with a question she hasn't heard for so long she's a bit taken aback.

"Are you alright, Miss?"

She doesn't know what brings the lady to ask such a question. Maybe she saw something in her eyes, something that's been growing and growing and has now taken over her mind. A kind of emptiness with the hopelessness that is her life.

Still, she finds it in herself to give the nice lady a week smile.

"I will be."

And she will be, she thinks as she walks to the elevator. By the end of this day, everything will be alright again. The emptiness within her will disappear. The feeling of never being good enough will be gone. And, most importantly, the feeling that's killing her the most: she will never again pretend to be someone she's not. No more burying of feelings and urges. No more buckling under someone else. She will be free.

The room is small, but clean. There's a small television on a desk, and the bed looks comfy enough. She puts her small suitcase on top of the bedding and open it, looking through the scarce amount of clothes she brought; all her favorites.

She shimmies out of her skinny jeans and blue top, catching her own reflection in the full length mirror at the side of the bed. She looks at her body, how bony it's become, the result of her miserable life. On her upper arms she spots blueness of the bruises she's been given. Snapping out of it, she turns back to the suitcase and the clothes. There will be no more of that, she's going to make sure of it.

She chooses her favorite skirt and a baggy, but nice, white shirt, decorated with lace. She ties her hair up, and applies a tasty amount of make up. She's going to blend right into the people outside, as long as no one spots the desolate look in her eyes.

She packs up the suitcase and leaves it beside the desk. Her identification is also left behind, neatly placed beside the television along with the rest of her money which she withdrew in the airport back in England. But on second thoughts, she picks out a few notes, realizing she might need them herself. She brings with her her credit card, the only link to track her, to get rid of somewhere along the way.

She takes a last look at the room with all her belongings in, an unavoidable sigh escaping her lips. Then, with renewed determination, she closes the door.

Her movements all day have felt mechanical, but leaving her things here was harder than she thought. But it was another step. Another step towards resolution.

She keeps her head down as she passes the lady by the counter this time, feeling the need to escape into herself, to distance herself from life as it is. Her next hours would be used to only admire the sights and feel the peace grow inside her.

This was both a rash decision and a long planned intent. It was inevitable. Her whole life had led up to this day.

Her last day.

The birds are chirping as she enters the streets, people walks by her, completely absorbed in their own lives, and she just wanders in between, just breathing deeply and feeling the sunshine on her face. Existing too, even just for now.

When she spots a street gutter, she breaks her credit card in two, dropping the pieces in between the metal bars. Symboling that she couldn't be found anymore.

She feels herself detaching more and more from the world around her as she goes on. It's a good thing too, it will make it a whole lot easier. She knows now that she's not made for this, she was never strong enough to endure the pain of life.

She decides in her stroll to visit all the places she peeked at in her traveling magazine as a little girl. Of course, back then, she thought she would visit under other circumstances. With maybe someone she loved, since it's the city of love after all.

But life made things harder for her than she could ever imagine. She found out that she wasn't cut out for it, to speak her mind and stand for what she felt had always been hard for her. In the meek early stages where she tried, she was turned down viciously. It was degrading, it was a dismal. And acceptance had always been important for her, so she buried her true self to make her family happy.

She walks along the river to the first sight, a large cathedral. People stand around taking pictures as she glances up at the large building. But she doesn't need to capture this moment on a digital device. No, this memory wasn't meant to live for years. Neither was she.

She admires the architecture and the decorative circle in the middle and the tall windows. She wonders for a second how it would be to get married in such a great building but quickly discards the thought. It wouldn't happen for her. Yes, she had a fiancé back home, and in truth their wedding was technically in planning, but she just couldn't go along with that reality anymore.

Before the memory of the man she's spent too much of her feeble life with becomes too much, she moves on to the next destination.

A pyramid of glass greets her at the large, open space. She lingers here for a bit, walking around it and the fountain. She watches the people going in and out of the museum. A kid to her left yells out as a stuffed animal falls out of his stroller. She goes over and picks it up, gives it back and receives thanks from his mother before they hurry away again.

She's numb. She's so numb and she wonders if that kid will have the same life she did. She hopes not. Or, at least, she hopes he's tougher than she ever was. Her strict mother following her through life, even now she had an iron grip over her decisions. Nothing went past it, and that's maybe why she had done as she did, gotten herself a fiancé who didn't seem harmful in the beginning, but in time had turned out just as bad as her mother.

With a last glimpse at the glass pyramid, she moves on. But the next sight she decides to not walk all the way over to. She sees the monument a long way, and she can admire the gate and how the traffic moves to and from it from the street she's at.

It's huge. It's one of the hugest things she's seen. And it's also beautiful. Dividing the city around it, daring to stand out, to be what it is. Daring to mean something, to claim its place.

She shakes her head at herself of how she makes everything a metaphor. She's not here to ponder what might have been if she was a stronger person. She's here to see the wonders she's always dreamt of, to give everything a worthy end.

The last and final destination is what she's looked forward to see the most. Of course it's not the first time she's seen it today as she approaches it. No, the tower is large, projecting over the city. She's seen it several times from a distance, but she's tried to postpone the reverence of it until it was time. And now it was.

She feels a small grip around her chest as she stares up into the sky, spotting the top of it. It's magnificent, it's everything she ever thought it would be. It's a heavy sensation, but it's also worthy of what it will come to mean in her life.

She uses some time to watch the tower from the park around it, going around the many food booths and smelling the distinct courses. Her mouth waters but she doesn't buy any. She needs her money for the ticket to the top.

The line isn't remarkable long as she places herself on the end. And soon enough her last money is gone and she's left the brown ground beneath her, flying up in the air inside the elevator.

It's crowded and it's overwhelming but it also feels right and when an attractive girl bumps into her, she thinks that if that's the last contact she'll have with anyone, that it will be okay.

She steps out on the top, heaven suddenly a lot closer than before. The sky is blue, small wisps of clouds in the distance. A beautiful day to die.

She walks over to the railing, noting the height of it before she leans her arms and head on it to look at the view of the city she's always loved from afar. The perfect last spot on her journey.

People are busy with capturing the moment and the view around her, but she doesn't need to. Because it will soon all be forgotten, lost in the abyss or whatever would happen.

The breeze ruffles through her strands of hair, and she closes her eyes. Knowing that this is it, that her suffering will soon end, it makes her smile to herself. The weight on her shoulders lifting of the thought of this being her last moments.

And her last day on this planet had been perfect. As perfect as it could become in how her life had turned out. Everyone in her family had abandoned her in one way, leaving her alone with her overbearing mother. No one supported her to be who she really is, suppressing her until she was however they thought she should be. Mentally pressuring her into getting herself a boyfriend in university. Making her take the course that would fit them best, refusing her of her career dreams and instead ending up with a degree in economy. Making her stay with the boyfriend that wasn't as sweet as the first impression, instead turning out to be controlling and abusive. The pillars in her life one by one was knocked over until what she stood left with was only discipline and servility. As long as she became what her mother wanted of her, she thought acceptance would save her happiness. It only deprived her of it. Her mother never happy, her fiancé always ruling, her accountant job never fulfilling. She had no authority over her own life anymore, everything was planned out for her, but this, this she could control.

Whether she existed or not.

And she knew it would take her mother and her fiancé a while to figure out what happened to her, not even leaving a note for them. Her suicide would say it all. It was the only way out left she saw.

She steps out of her shoes tentatively, then quickly hosting herself over the railing, standing with her front to the city, her hands gripping the railing.

A second or two passes by as she feels a new sort of feeling rush through her body. A sense of complete peace. Equanimity. Freedom.

She's long prayed to whatever God was up there to make her a bird, to give her the strength to escape her life and the people in it, to just fly away. And now, now she finally could.

And with that Emily loosened her grip and leant into nothingness, falling through the air towards the ground beneath her.


	2. The violins make no sound

The Fray - Where the story ends ( ** _I know you hate this one_** )

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 **Chapter one  
** **The violins make no sound, and I begin to feel the ground**

"Okay, Campbell. This is our last proposition." Alan says as he slides the binder over the table.

Naomi merely raises an eyebrow at the man as she opens the binder, already suspecting it will be far less than acceptable. Her suspicions are right.

"Is this supposed to be a joke? This is millions below what we're asking. Do you want to go to court?"

Alan looks to the other men sitting at his side of the table, before shrugging. "As I said, this is what we're offering."

"You've always been a prick, Alan, but I had no idea you were a stupid one."

"What you're asking is far beyond reasonable." he retorts.

JJ, one of the interns, reaches over and whispers something in Naomi's ear. She knew she was in the right when she took him in. The boy was a genius, and he knew the whole French law by heart, down to every detail and word.

"You know what, Alan, it's fine. I always wanted to take you and the rest of the slimy bastards to court anyways, it's just procedure that the state tries to settle for an amount that will accommodate what your business will ruin, but now I get to take you before a judge and shut down the whole fabric and hopefully your whole goddamn rotten company." Naomi smiles viciously.

"The amount you're asking for is far beyond the cost my production will bring the society! You government assholes always makes sure to take far more than necessary, don't you?"

"One, I don't work for the government and two, the pollution your fabric will create will ruin the local area around it. The river will be uninhabitable, animals will die. And you'll just make the air around Paris even more toxic. In my opinion there's no amount in the world that can make up for that."

"Oh come on, Naomi. Be reasonable." Alan's attorney, Tim, says.

Naomi merely scowls at him. She's had enough troubles with him the past and would gladly never see him again. But he has a way of squirming himself into a lot of the cases she deals with, and unfortunately the slimy bastard have used his cheap tricks and his sly way with words to win a case or two. But this one, though, this one he's going to work hard for to even get close to winning. She knows it, and he knows it.

She looks sideways to JJ, sees him nodding conspiratorially to her, the paragraph of law he whispered in her ear earlier on both their minds.

"I think we're done here." Naomi states, clapping shut her files and making a number of gathering them together.

"Wait, no!" Alan calls out, "what did the boy say to you earlier?"

"He was just refreshing my memory on the legislation." Naomi smirks as she stands up, putting her stuff into her bag, seeing as the rest of her colleagues do the same.

"Naomi, stop!" Alan shouts as Naomi turns for the door. "I'll add another hundred thousand or two, okay?"

"Unless you're meeting our demands, plus another two millions by Monday, you'll be receiving a letter from the magistrate soon. See you in court, fuckers."

There's more calls of disagreements and pleads for her to wait from behind as she exits the door, her high heels clicking over the floorboard confidently. She's already fishing out her fags from the pocket of her suit jacket to have them ready for when she exits the building. Those two morons always know how to rile her up with their stupidness.

"Wow, that was amazing!" JJ praises as he catches up with her, his curly hair flopping up and down as they walk.

Naomi smiles to herself, she's oddly flattered that he admires her so much.

"Thanks JJ. You know, you just need some more confidence, then you'll have slugs like them around your little finger too. You certainly have the mindset and the knowledge. You're going to be a great lawyer someday."

"If I'm half as good as you, I'm going to be legendary!"

Naomi only smirks silently of his acclaims, lighting up the fag in her mouth as they finally exits the building, taking a pleasing inhale of it.

"I'll bring the car, shall I?" JJ says as he senses Naomi needs a moment or two with her nicotine. Naomi nods as JJ and their other colleague, a woman named Svetlana, originally from Lithuania, walks around the building towards the car park. Svetlana is also another up and coming badass like herself, and she enjoys having those two on her team.

Half an hour later, Naomi finds herself in her office, making a last couple of notes to herself regarding the case of NAO, which is the company Alan is the boss of. It's been a long process with the negotiations, and she can't wait to take it further as they seem unsuccessful. No way that they'll ever pay the accommodation.

After making the last jot on her notepad, Naomi swivels around in her chair and looks out at the stunning view she's blessed with. It's a beautiful day, and she admires the landscape outside her office building. A giant park just outside and then the city raising up behind it.

She contemplates taking an early leave so she can get out and enjoy the late September weather, but she knows she probably should prep for another case. She's still deciding when her phone rings on her desk.

She swivels back and push the button without checking who's calling, answering a little grumpily. She doesn't want to deal with any more tossers today.

"Yes?"

"Um, Naomi?" comes the uncertain voice from her personal assistant.

"Yes, Pandora, what is it?"

"Well, um, I just called to inform you that there's been an accident."

"What do you mean?" Naomi suddenly looks up from where she's been absentmindedly studying her notes to glare at her answering machine. "What accident?"

"I'm sorry to inform you that one of your cars have been wrecked quite badly."

"What? Where? None of my cars are out at the moment?" Naomi frowns.

"With the Eiffel Tower, it was parked under it, and-"

"Why the hell was one of my cars parked under the Eiffel Tower?"

"Oh, don't you remember Alexis borrowed one of your cars to show the CEO of Ventolux around town? The Ferrari?"

"Oh right..." Naomi realised, "are they hurt? What happened?"

"None of them are hurt, luckily. Apparently there was a jumper, trying to off themselves obviously, from the tower and landed on your car. Neither Alexis or that important man was inside the car at the moment, but I don't think the car will be easily restored. The roof is all ruined and I think something inside was-"

"Oh to hell with the car, Panda. Thank god they're fine. But what about the jumper, did he... did he die?"

"Um, let me check..." she heard some rustling with papers and a few clicks, "it was a girl, but I'm not sure, Alexis didn't say... I think she survived, she was taken away in an ambulance."

"Find out Pandora, and once you do call me with the hospital she's in." Naomi stands up and starts to shut things off and collecting her stuff in her bag.

"But the car-"

"Scrap the car, do whatever with it, this is a human life we're talking about Pandora. Someone tried to kill themselves and they landed on my car, which maybe saved their life. This is more important than the car. Find out where she is."

"Yes of course, Naomi. Right away." she heard the panicky voice of Pandora over the line, before it went dead.

Naomi did a heavy exhale and tried to calm herself down for a few seconds before she started exiting the building again. She knew Pandora only meant well, and that she was a bit scared of her. But sometimes, she lacked of the skills of seeing what was important. Though, Naomi couldn't really blame her, she really loved that car. But a car was nothing against a human life. _A girl._ And that's the only thing Naomi managed to think about as she rushed out on to the pavement, the driver she called a few seconds ago already pulling up.

On the way, Naomi received another call from Pandora with the hospital and even the room number of the girl that had jumped. Naomi knew that most people couldn't access such information, but it payed to have her connections. And she used them only when she felt it was right, haven given Pandora enough instructions on how to play people to get that slice of information you need. She was amazing like that.

Soon enough the driver pulls up outside the large hospital and Naomi rushes in. But just before she's about to head for the elevators, she spots the gift shop. She curses herself for being so ignorant to not think about bringing anything. So she walks in and looks around.

What do one even give to someone who just tried to commit suicide? A teddy bear? No way. She settled for a large bouquet of flowers. Everyone liked flowers, didn't they?

With the bouquet safely in her arms, she takes the elevator a couple of floors up. She glances down on her phone as she walks, where she wrote the room number down earlier and looks around to orientate herself.

She's obviously in a very busy part of the hospital as nurses and doctors bustles past her. But eventually she turns down a quieter hallway, with more dimmed lights. She sees that the room numbers on the doors is nearing the right one, when a voice breaks her out of her stride.

"Excuse me, who are you here to see?"

She turns to see a small woman in blue uniform, peering up at her through small glasses.

"The girl who fell from the Eiffel Tower." Naomi smiles politely, holding her flowers as a kind of proof.

The face of the lady lights up of this.

"Are you family?"

"Um, not exactly."

"Are you close to the patient?"

"Noo..." Naomi drags out, seeing where this is going.

"Well, then, I must remind you that family only is allowed in."

"Look," Naomi sighs, looking around herself for some kind of answer. "is her family around here somewhere, I would really like to see how she's doing. It was my car she landed on, you see."

"Oh," the lady blinks, "um no, the family aren't around..." she trails off.

"When are they coming?"

"Um, it's... it's a little more complicated than that."

"What do you mean? Look, I know of the rules but I'm a lawyer so if I want to, I can easily find my way around them."

"You're a lawyer? Are you the lawyer of the girl?" the lady ask. Naomi peers skeptically down at the lady, a bit put off on how the lady keeps as referring to the patient as 'the girl'.

"No, I'm not. My name is Naomi Campbell, I'm an environmental lawyer."

"You're Naomi Campbell?" the nurses eyes flies up.

"I am."

"Um, I mean, I'm a huge admirer of the work you do, but.. the rules still apply I'm afraid. I'm sorry." the lady says with a compassionate smile and start to turn away.

"Do you even know who she is?" Naomi asks suddenly.

"Sorry?"

"The girl. You don't even know who she is, do you?"

The small lady holds her breath for a second or two, looking at Naomi as if contemplating something. Then she releases it and looks frustrated to the side. As if knowing that what she was about to do was not professional.

"No we don't. How did you know?"

"You looked so relieved when I told you I was going to see her and then you seemed disappointed when you found out I didn't know her."

"I guess you can sense those things, being one of the best lawyers in the country." The lady smirks to herself. "But still, I'm afraid I can't let you see her. It's against hospital policy."

"I get it, but can you at least tell me how she is? Is she going to be okay?"

The lady looks up at her again with dark eyes.

"I don't know, it's not looking good. It's a miracle she survived at all. With such a great fall, you would think there was no chance. I can only say that someone must have been watching over her. I don't even know how it's possible to survive something like that." The lady shakes her head as if coming out of a daze, "but yeah, what saved her was your car and the way she landed. One of her legs is broken, that's the one who took the greatest hit I believe. She has some broken ribs and a few fingers on one of her hands are broken. She's pretty banged up, full of cuts from the car and bruises from the crash. Her head took a great hit too, that's really the most critical circumstance. There's a bit of swelling in her brain, so we've put her into a coma. She's resting in her room now while the doctors discusses how they'll approach fixing her leg. But it's really the head damage that can make her or break her. In these situations we usually don't know anything until the patient wakes up. God bless her."

Naomi nods of the information, looking down on her feet as she processes it.

"Are you sure it was a suicide attempt though, that she wasn't pushed?"

"Yeah..." The lady says, "there were witnesses on the top. There are also people up there who's job is to prevent stuff like this happening, but they were too late to reach her."

"Typical." Naomi mutters to herself. She makes a note to look into the security on the Eiffel Tower later.

"Such a shame, someone trying to take their own life. Such a young one, too." the lady continues to shake her head as she looks towards a door. Naomi recognises the number on the door as the one she's been looking for. She gets an idea on how to get around the regulations.

"Especially since no one knows who she is, and her family can't be contacted, granted she has one." Naomi says.

"True. A Jane Doe, that one. The police found no traces of identification on her." The nurse nods along, and Naomi sees her opening with gaining her trust. As said, Naomi only uses her persuasive powers where they go to something good.

"Look, I know the rules and all that. But this isn't really about that, is it? It's about humanity. It's about support. I'm guessing she's all alone in there, no one holding her hand, am I right?" Naomi waits for the lady to nod, an attentive look upon her face. "And with a suicide attempt, I think we can both agree that girls like her really need someone to hold their hand, someone to watch over them and pray for them. I'm guessing none of your nurses are actively doing that job, huh?" A shake of her head. "And until you know who she is, which you probably won't know until she wakes up, she will be alone. No human deserves to be alone, especially not one as the girl lying in there. I know I'm merely but the owner of the car she hit, but she doesn't have much else now has she? I hate for her to wake up alone in a strange place after the things she must've been through in her life. Don't you agree with me? Would you want someone as broken as that just shut away inside a room with no one to really care? No one to bring her flowers to show they're sorry? Don't you think she deserves at least that? To not go through this alone?"

The lady sniffs a bit of the convincing speech Naomi gave her, even taking out a handkerchief of her pocket to dry a falling tear or two.

"You're absolutely right, Ms Campbell. No one deserves to be alone. That's probably what drove her to this in the start. I think... I think you should go in to her, sit with her. Even though you're not acquainted, I think someone watching over her will help."

Naomi nods understandingly at what the lady says, glad that not everyone in this world is heartless. With the tragedies the now broken girl inside the hospital room must have lived through, the world needs a little kindness. And with everything Naomi has in her life, she knows she can afford giving it away. She's trying to do it everyday in her work. And now, going face to face with a girl that's tried to kill herself out of lack of belief in this world, Naomi knows she has to do something. Maybe it was destiny with this girl hitting her car, bringing Naomi here, maybe it was not. But her mother would indeed think so.

"I'm glad you're doing this. We need more people like you in the world." Naomi smiles gratefully at the lady, before she takes a deep breath and pushes down the door handle.

The room is dark, and the only sound is the monitor hooked up to the small body in the bed, and the sound of deep, rhythmical breaths.

Naomi moves over to the bedside table, putting her flowers down before she quietly sits on a chair beside the bed.

The girl is so small, and so skinny. There's tubes attached to her everywhere, and her head is covered by a white bandage. A few strands of dark brown hair sticks out at the end. The bandage is covering one of her eyes, but she can see the other one. The blackness around it, how it's subsided and how her eye move behind the eyelids, as if having an ugly dream.

There's a thick blanket covering her body, but her hands are lying on top of it. They're covered in small cuts and bandages. There's so much discolouring on her little body.

Naomi has to take a shaky breath of the sight in front of her. Despite every hit this girl have taken, she's still beautiful. The rosy lips, now held open with tubes going down her throat, looks full and elegant. What she can see of her face also looks astonishing alluring, with just a look on her she seems lovely.

Naomi reaches out and gently touches the girls' face. She moves her fingers over the battered and bruised cheek of the girl in the bed. It's still soft, but it's also so cold. She then moves it down to the hand resting on her side of the bed, gently gripping it and avoiding the tubes connected to it at the same time. It's also so cold, and so lifeless.

And even though the girl beside her is unconscious, Naomi just knows that this contact is more than just that. Contact. It's support, it's hope, it's a reach out in this grim world.

"What happened to you that made you see no way out of it?" Naomi whispers to the girl in the bed.

And Naomi grips the hand that's placed in hers a little tighter, feeling the heaviness of the moment washing over her. Everything is so fragile. You can be dead in a second. And whatever made this girl so miserable that she wanted to end her life, Naomi wanted to take it all away. She knows she can't alleviate all the suffering the human kind goes through every day, but for this girl, she knows she wants to try. At least for her.

But for now, she would stay right here, keeping her grounded.

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 **So, as you can imagine, a lot of the dialogue happens in French. But I don't know French, and I'm not about to Google Translate it. But just know that. It will get clearer after a while.** **I also apologise for any other inconsistency.**


	3. Waking up is the hardest part

_"Every story I create, creates me. I write to create myself." - Octavia E. Butler_

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 **Chapter two  
** **Waking up is the hardest part**

Every day Naomi visited. Every day she made time to stop by. She brought flowers to decorate the grey and sad room, she kept updated with the medical progress, and, most importantly, she held the unknown girls' hand. Every day after work she stopped by and stayed for hours. Some days she even visited in the lunch.

Naturally, as their workaholic boss was doing such a selfless thing, gossip started flowing at the workplace. When Alexis got the word of Naomi visiting the jumping girl, she wanted to join her, since she after all had seen the incident with her own eyes. But it went with that one visit. The sight of the roughed up girl was a lot to take in, especially as it brought back all the memories of the actual crash for Alexis, and she remembered all the blood, the panic and the desperation. But Alexis thought what Naomi was doing was noble, very kind. Giving her time to someone she didn't know, to a person who wanted to end her life, go out of this world with a blast. It was admirable, and Alexis praised her for it, but it was also a relief that Naomi took the job. After all, Alexis had her two kids to come home to every night. Though, Naomi didn't see it like that. Like a burden. It was simply what she as a human felt was right to do. To be compassionate towards another human being. Someone who desperately needed it. Everyone deserved that in their life. She couldn't leave her now.

So Naomi stayed. She stayed when the doctors operated on her leg, putting on a giant cast for her to wear until the leg was fully healed. It was a pretty messy fracture, not easy at all. But it would be okay. She stayed for the pasting of her broken fingers, leaving her left hand looking like it constantly held a snowball. It would stay that way for maybe a week before they could change it to something smaller, more moveable. But it wasn't needed before she woke up anyways. They also said it was a clean break there, luckily. Naomi tried not to think of what position the girl must've landed in for it to break like that, even though a seemingly blunt doctor had told her at some point, making her cringe for the rest of the day. And finally she stayed for the changing of bandages on the countless bruises the small body had received, and she stayed to see them fade a little, day by day.

And through all this, Naomi kept holding this girls' hand, kept hoping for her to wake up, kept hoping for her to have another go at life. Another chance, another chance to be happy.

She couldn't find it in herself to not come. She had to make sure it would all be okay. That this girl that landed on her car and wrecked it that afternoon would make it through. Would wake up, and speak to her and get everything crushing her from inside the inside out, out of her mind.

At first Naomi did it because no one else was there to do it. Because it was the right thing to do, even though it concerned a stranger. Now, with all this time at her bed, staring at her and just hoping... now she needed this girl to be alright.

So Naomi kept coming, and she kept making small talk with the nurses and the doctors, and she kept on making the room a bit less sad, and she kept on hoping for this stranger. Because what was the crucial fact was that the swelling in her brain could've done damages that would make this girl, as she was, disappear forever. And even though that was the idea of this girl with jumping out of the Eiffel Tower, to disappear from the face of earth, Naomi wouldn't join in on it. She knew there were pricks out there, hell, she sometimes thought most of the population in Paris were shitty human beings, but such people were often unknowing of their incompetence, and definitely not ashamed of it. No, she could never believe this girl was a bad person. Sometimes you get the feel of someone by just looking at them. And that was something Naomi had done a lot. She just knew there were goodness in there.

So when the doctors declared that the swelling in her brain had gone down, and she would be taken off the medication that kept her in a coma, the relief was great. But the danger wasn't through yet. Now all that was left, was waiting...

x

x

Echoes. Blurred noises coming from everywhere. Or maybe they were bouncing around inside her head, overlapping each other. It sure sounded like that. She couldn't make anything of them.

She just wanted them to go away, they were making her dizzy and she couldn't feel her surroundings. Were she floating? Flying? Merely drifting away or closer to something? She didn't know, she couldn't tell.

The transition was slow, so slow. The first thing she could feel was her face. How she could twitch her muscles, and the skin tissue would follow. She felt that. Then, slowly, bit by bit, she regained awareness of her whole body, could feel her arms and feet and how they were resting on something decisive material.

But her mind was still foggy, and she could still hear those sounds. It sounded like a water cave, or maybe an ice cave. Though she didn't know why she would find herself in one of them.

Then, like lightning from clear sky, she felt pain. A stabbing sensation in her stomach, and she coughed in her unclear state, which was definitely not helping on the pain. And when it dulled, and she could concentrate on gaining focus again, she realised she had this dull ache in her whole body. Was this what the afterlife felt like? Was this her punishment for taking her own life? Maybe she was in a state somewhere in between.

But then her eyes started fluttering, the darkness being replaced in small flashes with a cloudy whiteness. _Heaven,_ she thinks automatically. Nothing else can be this light. The fuzziness of her eyesight last for a bit, and she can still hear those noises. But they're somehow getting a bit less vague every time.

And then as her eyes have started making out small shapes and more colours than just white, she sees a shadowy figure before her. She blinks more and concentrates on it, until it becomes clearer.

It's a beautiful woman, white angel hair curled around her graceful face. And she's looking down at her, moving her mouth as if saying something, but Emily can't make it out.

She feels the dryness in her mouth, but still ignores it as she manages to make out a mutter.

"Are you an angel?"

The angel just looks at her then, before breaking out in a magnificent smile that takes Emily's breath away.

x-x-x-x-x-x

"Are you an angel?" the girl mutters.

The first thing Naomi recognises is the distinct British accent. It tickles her ears, and reminds her of her home country.

And then she realises that the girl meant her, which would be implying that she had the look of an angel. Mind you, Naomi didn't care about looks, she always thought people should be recognised by their intelligence and personality, but this comment was somewhat flattering. This, and with the relief of her being awake and responding, Naomi breaks out into a giant smile, before chuckling a bit.

She sees the girl in the bed still looking at her, but now frowning a bit. Probably because the lack of answer and that she's laughing at her. She waits a bit before answering, sensing that the stranger needs a second or two to further orientate herself in the room. No doubt she has a fuzzy mind after being out for so many days.

"No, I'm not an angel." Naomi says in her first language, pleased to be speaking english. It wasn't every day she did that.

"You're not?" the girl squints at her, before looking more around the room, as if trying to think where she could be. Then she looks at the IV before down at herself. She lifts her left hand, the one covered in bandages because of the broken fingers and just looks at it. She lifts her other hand to feel the bandage around her head, barely grazing it before both hands fall down again in exhaustion. Then she looks down at her feet, invisible under the blanket, and tries to move then. She flinches, probably realising that one of them aren't good, and gives up with the experimental movements.

She looks back to Naomi, her eyes more soaked in misery than before.

"So I'm not dead?" she asks, as if her being alive was the worst thing ever. She looks so sad, so broken of this fact that Naomi can't bring herself to speak, only stare helplessly back at her. The girl looks down and sniffs a bit, looking utterly broken.

Naomi turns around to peer at the door. She knows she should be calling a nurse to notify about the girl being awake, but Naomi doesn't think she's ready for all the questions and tests just yet. So she's selfish, or maybe selfless, and decides to handle this herself until someone comes in.

She looks back at the crestfallen girl, and suddenly remembers the glass of water at the table. She grabs it and holds it up to the girls' mouth. She squints at it for a moment, before taking a gulp. Naomi can see that it's doing her good.

x-x-x-x-x-x

Water has never tasted so good, Emily thinks as she takes a gulp. The overwhelming and wrecking feeling inside of her is still there, but she's getting her bearings as best as she can. Her chest, which was so tight before she thought it would collapse in on itself, was slowly lessening, making it possible for her to breathe again. Yet, that's the last thing she wants to be doing. Breathing.

"No, you're not dead. You're in a hospital in Paris." the woman says as she sets the water back on the table.

Emily nods at this. _Still in Paris then._ So everything she remembered must have happened, she thinks.

But then she feels another hand in hers, and she looks down at it. The woman is lightly gripping hers in her own. And Emily must look quite apprehensive as she meets the woman's blue eyes again.

Why is she here holding her hand? Oh, God.

"Am I supposed to know you? Did I lose my memory?" Emily asks suddenly. What if she had woken up and forgotten years of her life? What if this woman was close to her? On second thoughts, that thought didn't seem so horrifying to Emily as the alternative.

The woman laughs again. "No, you're not supposed to know me."

And Emily sees the kindness in the blonde woman's eyes, and it warms her cold heart, even for just a second. But the questions inside her head just multiplies with the answer.

"Then why are you here?"

"It was my car you hit when you landed."

"What?" Emily's eyes widens dramatically. "Shit, did I ruin it? I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"Stop it," the woman grins at her. Emily can't fathom why she's grinning so much, sitting with the girl that smashed her car. "The car isn't important. I have four others anyways."

"You have... four other cars?" Emily frowns.

"I do." the woman smirks charmingly at her.

"But... why?"

"Why do I have four other cars?"

"...Yeah?"

The woman must find this funny, because she's still chuckling. And maybe it is a little funny, with Emily just woken up from a coma after trying to kill herself, and they're talking about cars.

"Well, obviously I'm a bit of a car enthusiast."

"Obviously." Emily agrees, almost cracking a smile herself. "Don't know what you would do with four cars though." she says before she can stop herself. She almost looks horrified of the rude comment she just made and wonders if she got medication in her system making her say stuff like this. But it doesn't have that effect on the other woman.

"You know what, you're right. I have way too many cars." she smiles.

And Emily's realising that she's still holding the other woman's hand, but it's not unpleasant. She quite like that this woman with four cars is here holding her hand, even though she smashed her fifth.

"I'm sorry about breaking your car though." Emily mutters quietly.

"Don't even mention it, what's important is that you're okay."

And then Emily is staring curiously at her again. She can't quite fathom it. She smashes her car, and then she stays here to hold her hand. Surely she didn't deserve that?

"Who are you?" Emily asks in the end.

"My name is Naomi Campbell." the woman smiles.

Emily squints even more at her. " _You're_ Naomi Campbell?"

Now, Emily wasn't big on catching up with the magazines back in her old life, but she wasn't living in a cave either. And she's sure the last time she saw a picture of Naomi Campbell, she didn't look like this. Maybe this whole thing is a dream? It seems absurd enough.

"Well, obviously I'm not _that_ Naomi Campbell," the woman rolls her eyes, and Emily mentally curses herself for not realising there can be more people with the same name. "I'm not a model, as you probably can tell," which she couldn't, "I'm a lawyer."

"You're a lawyer?" Emily gapes. "Shit, you're going to sue me for the car, aren't you?"

"No, would you stop mentioning it? All is forgiven about the car! I'm an environmental lawyer."

Emily relaxes a bit. Well, as much as you can relax in her situation anyway. Then she decides to take a risk at a little humour. She quite like this girl, Naomi. She makes her forget stuff, stuff that before seemed so big, so crushing. But not now when she's in this small hospital room holding her hand.

"You're an environmental lawyer _and_ you own four cars?" Emily smirks. "You're full of contradictions aren't you?"

Naomi tries to hold the laugh in, but in the end it escapes out. "You're sharp." she comments, and it almost makes Emily blush a bit. "Well, you got me. It makes no sense. I try to not use them too often, but I really love driving a beautiful car. When you're on an open road, with high speed and you just melt into the car. You feel the road under you like you are the car yourself. I guess it makes me feel free in a way" she shrugs.

Emily hangs on to every word she says, and picture herself in that scene. With Naomi. Them just driving on an open highway, away from all their problems. Free. But then she's back and she's stuck in the hospital bed, and her problems aren't really gone.

Her problems are tenfold if anything. And suddenly she feels tired, so tired. She sinks back into her pillow as she thinks of everything she was going to avoid in this world with jumping from that tower. And now she's back and she's stuck in this room. She can't escape anymore. What's going to save her now? When all her troubles comes back to haunt her? Because they will. She has never managed to get away from them.

She is still staring miserably up into the ceiling when Naomi speaks again.

"But enough about me. No one knows anything about you. What's your name?"

And she hasn't got energy to analyse that sentence and the significance of it, because her eyes are already drooping and she feels the undertow dragging her down into unconsciousness again.

"My name?" she whispers as the lightness is replaced by darkness once again, "my name is Emily."

.

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 **Hi.**

 **I'm sorry I haven't updated Paradise Hotel in a while. Especially since I've said both to you and myself that I was going to work at only one story at a time. But you know... inspiration strikes and it wasn't fitting for writing PH so this happened. But this story has been planned for months and months, so don't worry.**

 **I think it will be good for me to switch between them, based on my writing mood.**

 **Thanks for all the reviews and for the high expectations. I'll try to live up to them.**

 **The title of the chapter is taken from Dreaming With A Broken Heart - John Mayer. I don't feel the song as a whole fits the chapter. But in another way, some of it does. It's a nice song nevertheless.**


	4. A promise

A Promise – Broken Records. One of the most beautiful songs they had in the series, in my opinion.

.

 **Chapter three  
** **A promise**

The second time Emily wakes up, there's far more noise than the first time. It happens faster too. But it doesn't mean she's feeling any better than before. She is still alive when she would prefer to not be.

She blinks her eyes open to the lightness of the room, and sees an unknown lady standing over her in clothes that hinted she was a nurse. She smiles at Emily and says something to her, but it must be in french because Emily doesn't understand it. And Emily must look like she doesn't understand it too, because the nurse suddenly looks doubtfully at her.

And then there's someone else talking and Emily turns her head to see Naomi sitting in a chair with the opposite wall in the room, harshly speaking to the nurse in french. Then the nurse leaves the room, and when Emily follows her with her eyes, she sees a policeman standing with the door.

Emily's throat constricts. This was far more scarier than waking up before. With only Naomi there. Naomi seemed so non-threatening. So calm. This was unknown and unpredictable.

But then she feels a hand in hers again and looks up into baby blue eyes.

"Tossers. I told them to get an english speaking nurse because I wasn't sure if you knew french." she rolls her eyes at Emily.

Emily just simply looks at her, busy trying to catch her breath. And Naomi seems to sense this, that everything seems to be spiralling for the other girl.

"Hey..." she whispers to her. "Emily," she smiles, and Emily seems to gather herself more by hearing her own name uttered from those lips. "Do you remember me?"

Emily smiles a bit of this. Of course she remembers her.

"Yeah. Naomi Campbell, the environmental lawyer with four cars."

Naomi grins cutely at her before they're interrupted by another nurse coming into the room.

The nurse is holding a clipboard in her hand and her long ponytail swings after her. She looks kind, Emily thinks, and she hopes that is the case too.

"Hello," she greets Emily with a warm smile, "We've been informed that your name is Emily, is that correct?"

"Yeah," Emily croaks out, suddenly feeling the emptiness in her hand. She panics for a second and turns her head to where Naomi was a minute ago. She's back on the other side of the room, giving them some space. But she gives Emily an encouraging smile, telling her without words that it will be fine.

"Okay then, Emily. How are you feeling?"

"A bit grouchy."

"That's the shot we gave you to wake up. You're a very lucky girl. You escaped the fall with some broken bones and some bruises. It will all heal with some rest in the hospital, but the cast on your leg you will have to wear for some time. Other than that you broke some ribs and a few fingers."

"Right..." Emily muttered. The word _lucky_ ringing like a bitter melody inside her head.

"I'll fill you more in on your injuries afterwards, but we need to ask you a few questions. Are you up for that?"

Emily looks to Naomi again, somewhat needing the strength she provides. Naomi gives her a simple nod from where she's sitting with her arms folded, observing the situation like she would break in if anything went wrong.

"S-sure."

"Very well. What is your surname?"

"It's F-...Fitch."

"Okay, Emily Fitch. You're from England then?"

"Yeah, I'm from Bristol."

Emily saw past the nurse, to the policeman, watching him scribble down on a little notepad.

"What is your occupation?" the nurse continues.

"I was an accountant."

"And how old are you Emily?"

"I've just turned 24."

"24 huh? We thought you were younger." the nurse gives her a kind smile. "Okay, can you give us the names and contact information to your family so we can reach them and orientate them on the situation?"

And suddenly the lump in Emily's throat is back with greater vengeance, and her hands start fiddling themselves into the sheets, gripping them tightly.

"Do... do you have to contact them?" she asks with a shaky voice.

"Yes, it is normal procedure after such an incident. You need a support system around you in the time to come."

Emily feels her sight getting cloudy and her cheeks getting wet.

"Please..." she begs, "please don't call them. Isn't it another way?"

"I'm sorry Emily, but we need to call _someone._ You need people to support you through this."

"B-but..." Emily sobs by this point, "but it won't help me calling them. Please don't do it. P-please..."

"I'll be her support system." is heard from across the room. The nurse turns surprised to the source.

"Sorry?" she asks, as Emily looks with teary eyes towards a now standing Naomi.

"You said she needed someone to get through this, yes? Well, obviously calling her family isn't going to make her any good, just look at her! Just the idea of it is upsetting her this much! So I would like to be her support system. If that's alright with you Emily, of course."

The tears has dried a bit on Emily's face by now. She can't believe what she's hearing. Naomi wants to do this only to save her from the presence of her family without knowing anything about it.

"You... you don't have to do this." she tells Naomi.

"I know, but I want to." Naomi answers softly before turning towards the nurse again. "There's no rules against that, is there? Clearly this is what's best for her."

"No there's no rule, but it isn't exactly normal practice. Are you sure?"

"Positive." Naomi says, not even flinching.

"I mean, we're not against it, but wouldn't it be better with someone who is familiar with the patient?"

"Someone who makes her cry just by thinking about bringing them here, you mean?" Naomi bites back.

"Okay then," the nurse gets the message, "you can be her support system, if it is alright with you Emily?"

Emily is still looking dumbfounded at Naomi, not understanding how she can do this for a stranger. There's both admiration and disbelief in her eyes.

"Yes," she whispers in the end. She don't know how to ever make this up to Naomi. And she thinks, for the first time in what feels like forever, that it might be okay. That if her family isn't contacted, that maybe things will start to look up.

"Okay, that's settled then. I'll leave you for some rest then, Emily. Ms Campbell, if you could please turn up in the reception in a while to sort some paper work, that would be great. I need to talk to the police here first."

"I think I'll join you on that." Naomi says strongly before following the two service people out into the corridor, shutting the door with a last smile directed towards Emily.

And when Emily is left alone in her room, she lets out a big, shaky breath. Her heart is racing and she feels like things are going a million miles an hour. It's all so fast, coming back to life again. Dealing with things she never knew she had to.

And the threat of her family coming here isn't exactly gone, is it? The _police_ is here. They're probably going to contact them anyway. And what would she do when her mother turned up here to cuss her out for being so stupid. When her fiancee came with his hard eyes and thoughts of punishment? It was still all so unsafe, so close to being like before. Just a phone call and they would be here.

The more she thinks the more short breathed she becomes. She's sure she's close to a panic attack, but then she tightly shuts her eyes and focuses on that they're not here. That he's not here. He can't reach her right this minute. Her breath evens out after a while of concentrating, and when she opens her eyes again and focuses on the room she's in, she makes sure to take deep breaths. It helps.

She notices that there's flowers on almost every surface in here. That there's even some candles on one shelf. She dwells on it for a second before the door opens again.

She can't help it, she doesn't know why, but seeing Naomi again calms her. She makes another atmosphere than anyone Emily's ever known.

"Hey," Naomi says as she sits by the bed this time, "are you alright?"

"Yeah, yeah I just... Why did you do that? Volunteer to be my support system?"

Naomi exhales deeply before taking Emily's hand again. "I just saw the look in your eyes Emily... Clearly it would've stirred things up bringing them here. And I know things are still raw and hard for you, so I won't ask you to explain why. But seeing your reaction.. I just knew I couldn't let it happen."

"That's... I mean, you don't even know me." Emily says, her eyes now glistening with tears again.

"Still. I want to do this for you. And please don't feel like a burden, because you're not." Naomi reassures, reading right through the other girl.

Emily looks meaningfully at Naomi before she has to break their stare.

"But they're still being contacted, aren't they? With the police and everything..."

"No, you don't have to worry about that. I made sure that they don't get contacted. I promise."

"Thank you." Emily says breathlessly, the gratitude and relief overwhelming her.

"Hey, it's okay." Naomi reaches up to brush away a falling tear.

Emily takes a moment or two to collect herself, looking down on the hand holding hers.

"What is going to happen to me?" she raises her eyes to Naomi's.

"Well, it's a long recovery." Naomi says softly. "You're going to have to stay in the hospital for a while. Both for your physical injuries but also because it's policy in these cases. They're going to give you a psychiatrist, but I'm going to do some research, find the best and kindest in town and bring them in. I don't want you to worry about anything, I just want you to get better, whatever it is that made you... well, I'm not going to sugar coat it because I feel honesty is important, but whatever made you jump, the psychiatrist will help you address it and hopefully overcome it."

"I-I don't know if I'm ready for that."

"I know, it's not going to happen over night. But I'll find the gentlest there is out there for you, count on that."

Another shaky breath from Emily, but she's not panicking. No one has ever said to her that things can be fixed. She really don't know if things can be fixed either, but this girl is telling her there is a way. But she doesn't know the depths of it, though.

"Will you.." And Emily feels weird for even asking this, but suddenly her old life feels like a memory, and Naomi is the only constant she knows in this one, so she has to make sure, "will you be there?"

"I'll be there every step of the way. Support system, remember?" Naomi smiles at her.

"You promise?"

"I promise, I really do."

And Emily held on a little tighter, as if that could strengthen the promise. And Naomi looks at her so softly, and Emily can't remember the last time someone looked at her like this, if someone ever did. She's been overlooked for so long, so having someone finally seeing her feels like that maybe she does matter after all. That she is more than this broken shell.

And while Naomi strokes comforting circles on the back of Emily's hand, the first leaves of fall falls from the trees outside the hospital window. The swirling cold breeze that makes people draw their scarves tighter around themselves catches the leaves, making them do a familiar dance in the gust.

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 **I've been listening a lot to this song recently, Run – Chasing Grace, and whenever I hear it I always picture the scene in the last chapter where Emily imagines running away with Naomi in her car.**

 **Review? My birthday is on Sunday so it could be like your early birthday gift to me :)**


	5. All roads lead home

All roads lead home – Golden State.

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 **Chapter four  
** **All roads lead home**

The police comes back the next day with an english speaking officer to take an official statement from Emily, just to get the case closed. She tells them about the motel she checked into, and under which name, and they told her they would go around and see if they could get her belongings back.

Emily is still tired and a bit shaken after everything, so it wasn't easy for her speaking to an official, as she's always been a bit afraid of them and the authoritative.

She's still sleeping a lot, drugged up on pain medication and what not. Naomi is there most times when she is awake, and it is nice. She hasn't been pressuring Emily on anything, but just sitting beside her bed, telling her about her work and tossers she's met that day. She even makes Emily laugh with her stories, and it's good. It's slowly but surely lifting Emily's spirit, and she's not actively thinking about the downsides of life all the time.

Naomi keeps her promise, and she finds a therapist fitting for Emily, english speaking and everything. He's been coming to visit her, but they haven't talked much yet, just establishing a trust between each other. To show Emily that he's not threatening and whatever she's going to tell him will not be brought further.

Naomi is never there when he visits, because this part of the recovery is something between Emily and the therapist. She doesn't want to intrude or make it so she, too, will listen to what Emily has to say. No, that is something that Emily needs to decide for herself when she wants to share. What's important now is that she gets whatever's been eating her up inside, out of her system. Or rather, that she find that it isn't worth taking her life for. That she is worthy of living.

Slowly Emily gets acquainted to how great of a hit her body took. Her leg was wrecked, she was told. A really great doctor fixed it for her, but in the cost of months with recovery. Still, it would, if she was careful, go back to how it was before. Which is ironic, because the last thing Emily wants is to go back to how it was.

She's still in knots every night, terrified that suddenly her mother and fiancee will walk through the door. That her hideaway, if only a hospital room in Paris with a beautiful lawyer, will be found out and that they're going to take her home to her old life. But it doesn't happen. Maybe it was like Naomi had said, that she'd made sure they didn't come. Emily sure hope so, because she wasn't ready to cave to them again. And she knew she would. No, she wanted to keep striving, like Naomi made her do.

She wanted to stay here with Naomi. Because it was better than anything she'd ever known.

x-x-x-x-x-x

Six days after she properly woke up, they changed the bandages on her hand to something more flexible. It was nasty, the injury on her hand was. She had to look away when they changed it, the blue and redness mixed together and the knowledge of how out of condition it was after her fall. It didn't hurt too much though, but she was still on heavy medication for her leg, so that might explain it.

But the good thing was that now, with the new bandage, she could actually grip with both hands, instead of having just one to help her.

Naomi was ecstatic over this when she stopped by for lunch, and even though Emily was a bit moody after a meeting with a physician over her ruined leg, Naomi didn't fail to cheer her up. While Naomi poured over an egg salad, Emily ate the obligatory sandwiches the hospital provided, in between secretly munching on the bar of chocolate Naomi had sneaked her.

"So I got that phone call from Albert today, and lemme tell you, he was not pleased with the lawsuit. He reasoned that those losing their homes for him to build the parking lot could just _'move to a different area, or get a higher paying job so they could afford such changes'!_ Like can you even imagine! That's someone who've lived in a money bin all his life. And the people being thrown out doesn't even get payed for their properties! It's basically a fucking robbery! The government is hallucinating in half the stuff they do."

"So Albert works for the government?" Emily questions as she takes a bite of the chocolate.

"Yeah, in the transport department or something. It's idiotic in itself, building that parking lot. Doesn't exactly inspire people to take the bus when we're making more storage for their cars does it?"

"Says the girl with four cars. And by the way, I thought you half way worked for the government?"

"Ha-ha. I take the bus plenty, thank you very much. And well... I do work alongside the government a whole lot, but that's another department. The environmental department obviously. They often hire me in for cases where there's companies that have violated the law. But mostly I represent independent causes. That's what I'm doing now, with those being forced out of their homes for an asphalt desert."

Emily grins a bit to herself. Of all the lawyers or people in the world that could stand up and volunteer to be her support system, she think she was pretty lucky with this one. Smart, witty and sarcastic at times. Naomi Campbell was something.

"I like how you stand up for things like this."

"Yeah well, someone's gotta." Naomi shrugs.

"Still. It's kind of admirable." Emily smiles shyly and looks down.

Naomi stops mid chew, her fork halfway on its way to her mouth, and just looks at Emily. She's so quiet and self-conscious sometimes. But still so precious. Naomi knows she's hiding, and she lets her because she can't possibly begin to fathom what's happened to this girl yet.

Before Naomi can answer, there's a knock on the door, and they turn to see a police woman standing by the door with a small suitcase. Emily recognises it, and her eyes light up. Something tangible from her existence before this. And nothing of what's in the suitcase is linked to the bad stuff.

"Bon jour. We stopped by the motel, and it went a couple extra days to get everything because of the fake name you gave them. But they luckily had stored your baggage even though they cleaned out the room." the police woman says kindly as she rolls the suitcase over.

"Oh," she grabs into her pocket, "they also held on to this for you. The old lady behind the counter told me to give you her best wishes. She remembered you, you see, and she feels so bad for what happened to you and that she didn't do anything to prevent it." she hands over a bunch of money to Emily who takes it with her good hand and a serious stare.

"Thank you, ma'am" Naomi says for Emily, who's still staring at the money. The policewoman nods at them and is out of the room as fast as she was there.

"That's a lot of money Emily." Naomi comments as she goes back to her food.

"Yeah... I left it so maybe the cleaners could have it or something..." Emily mutters, obviously remembering back to the moment she left them.

"I'm not surprised they didn't. That's far above the average tip. But hey, now you have money to get some junk food from the machines when I'm not around, eh?" Naomi winks at her.

Emily gives her a quick acknowledging look, before putting away the money and looking to her suitcase. She hadn't been out of bed yet, so it wasn't exactly like she could go over and open it to see if everything was there. But she reckoned that if they didn't take her money, nothing of her clothes or essentials would be of interest.

"Did..." Emily started, "did she say that the lady at the motel felt bad because she didn't do anything?"

"Um, yeeah." Naomi drags out, her eyes focused on Emily and the emotions showing of in her face.

"But..." Emily sniffs and blinks back tears before composing herself again. "It wasn't her fault. She couldn't have done anything. It... nothing could've stopped me that day. I don't want her to feel bad about something that was out of her hands."

"Hey..." Naomi says, putting away her food to instead grab the smaller girl's hand.

"I came to this city to end my life. I had made peace with it. And I know she saw it in my eyes that day, but no matter what she'd said, I would have gone through with it. And I did." Emily looks back to Naomi with tears glimmering in her eyes. This is the most honest she's been since she met Naomi. And instead of running away from the broken mess she is, Naomi holds her hand tighter and move closer to her to provide comfort.

"But you didn't die Emily. And maybe she couldn't have said something that day to change your mind, but this is another day. And tomorrow is going to be another day. And you're not back in England anymore, you're free to do whatever you want here in Paris. No one is going to come look for you here, okay? And whatever haunts your mind, the therapist is going to help you with that. I promise you Emily, there's so many reasons to live. And I hope you're coming to see it, or, at least, that you will with time. It is possible to heal. And when... if... you want to tell me about what happened back there, you can. Anytime. I'll be here for you."

Emily swallows back a sob, and looks down and away from Naomi. The sincerity and meaningful look delivered to her too much to gaze at.

"I've never told someone _everything,_ Naomi. And I am appreciating what you're saying but it's just... I... It's..." she struggles for words. "I've never been enough. I've never fitted in. And I've tried so hard. I've tried so hard to please everyone, to do what's expected of me, but... I'm not enough and it's been killing me. And at the same time, it's been killing me also because I'm so far from what they want me to be. What if I'll always be too weak? Not enough?"

She looks back to Naomi, and finds only sympathy there.

"It's all such a mess." she shakes her head.

"Look, it's okay. You can be whoever you want now. And whatever you do, you will be enough. You don't have to follow anyone's rules or expectations. You can be you."

Emily closes her eyes and takes in Naomi's words. A truth floats at the tip of her tongue. A truth she haven't spoken in years. The last time she tried, she had been shut down, yelled at, bullied, until she discarded it and did things she didn't desire, all in the name of being loved by those supposed to love you unconditionally.

"Naomi... I'm gay."

It's quiet in the room except for the machines, and Emily thinks that she's blown it again. That she won't find acceptance now either. But then Naomi squeezes her hand until she opens her eyes. She finds the softest smile on Naomi's face, making it hard to breathe, but she's not afraid anymore.

"So what, Ems. The leaves are green, the sea is blue... Gay, straight, bisexual, tall, small, it doesn't matter. You're still lovely."

Emily lips trembles as they stretch out into a smile.

"Thank you." she whispers to Naomi.

"Don't thank me. That's a given, we're in 2015 after all. Everyone should accept one another. Is that why you don't want your family to come, they don't approve of it?"

Emily's smile turns upside down, and she looks down again. "Among other things..." she mutters.

Naomi senses that Emily is not ready to talk about this yet. And she doesn't want her to feel anymore down. Is this why Emily jumped? Because she's gay and her family didn't approve? Naomi knows that there's more to the story, but like she said to Emily, that is for her to tell when and if she wants to. But now though, Emily has just come out to her, and Naomi needs to show her that it's okay, that she's not less than before. Naomi just wants to cheer her up. That's all she wants, really, to see Emily smile. But sadly, the clock is ticking towards the end of her lunchtime.

"How about we celebrate the new bandage on your hand when I stop by after work, huh? I'll bring some magazines and such now you can hold them and stuff!" Naomi exclaims.

It has the desired effect. The heaviness of the moment is gone, and the life in Emily's eyes are back when she looks amused up on the other girl.

"It's not like I couldn't grip a book before. Got my good hand free, you know." Emily smirks, wiggling her fingers which is safely secured in Naomi's hand.

 _Shit._ Naomi thinks. She's such an idiot, not having brought Emily some entertainment earlier. It's long days laying in here, Naomi thinks.

"Shit! I should've brought it earlier! I'm such a knobhead sometimes, I swear. I'm sorry, Emily. I'm going to go down in the store and buy you things right now."

"No..." Emily backtracks and frowns at the frantic girl in front of her, "I didn't mean it like that Naomi. And aren't you supposed to go back to work now?"

"I know, but it must've been so boring for you here without anything to do! It's the first rule of hospital stay. God, I can't believe I've been so neglecting." Naomi shakes her head of herself as she stands up.

"Don't stress it, your visits have been very entertaining." Emily smiles, before she realises how it sounded and she looks down in embarrassment again.

Naomi looks at her fondly for a few moments, before she makes up her mind and takes out her phone from her pocket. Ignoring all the notifications she dials Pandora.

"Hey." "Yeah I'm there right now." "Actually Pandora, I'm taking the rest of the day off, could you cancel my meetings?" "No, everything's fine. Just reschedule for later in the week." "Yep." "Okay." "Bye."

"Naomi, did you just cancel the rest of your day to buy me magazines?" Emily looks flabbergasted to where Naomi is standing.

"I guess I did." Naomi smirks at her. "Now, I'll be back as soon as I can, but it might take a while to make up for all the days I didn't bring you anything."

"Naomi!" Emily calls when she walks to the door. But Naomi already knows that Emily is going to say that she doesn't have to or something similar, so she simply shout out a "later!" and is out.

Emily looks disbelievingly after her. She can't believe she just cancelled her day to do this for Emily. And even though Emily still doesn't fully believe that she deserves this attention from Naomi, she can't deny that it feels good.

It's been a long time since Emily have caught herself smiling to herself, but now she does. And it's strange and welcoming.

Naomi doesn't know it, but the comfort and warmth she's showing Emily, is slowly taking roots deep down in Emily's heart. A heart that's been hollow for so long, that Emily is surprised that it's still there. And it's still feeling.

x-x-x-x-x-x

Half an hour later, Naomi is back in the room with bags full of stuff.

"Naomi, you shouldn't have." Emily says as she sees what she brought.

"Oh, shush. Luckily they had lot of english stuff in a store a street down. Not easy to find in France, I tell you. Seriously, sometimes I doubt they know there is a world outside this country and that it actually is wise to learn English for communication opportunities at least. Do you know that the nurse wanted me to be a translator when you woke up? It's so unprofessional! What if I translated something wrong? In conjunction to the police that is very serious business, I tell you!"

Emily just stares amusedly at Naomi until she realises that she's been ranting and smiles sheepishly.

"Went off on one, didn't I? Anyways, here is what I brought you." Naomi sits down on her seat, and takes up a bunch of magazines.

"There's a lot of gossip in here. I mean, who doesn't want to read about heartbreak and drama with the celebrities? There's also... Err.. I brought you DIVA. And some magazines with deeper stuff, like global issues and such. I like reading them in my spare time, so thought you could give them a go. Oh, and then I bought crossword puzzles, a few of them. Umm... colouring books and colours, if you're into that? I hear it's become a thing among adults. So there's some secret garden and a … mandala book. I don't know. But this.." Naomi takes up the last items from the bag. "I think will be something for you! Sudoku! Accountant right? Good with numbers? Bet you will be done with them in a tick!"

Emily looks at everything laying on the bed. Naomi really went all out on this. She's a bit overwhelmed but is definitely not frowning. Yes, she doesn't like that Naomi is spending so much on her, but saying so will definitely go by deaf ears if she knows Naomi right.

"Actually..." Emily says, grabbing a book, "I think I want to start with the crossword puzzles. Did you bring a pen?"

Naomi gives her one, before looking curiously at her. "Really, crossword puzzles? I really thought you would go for the sudoku."

"Yeah, well... I like words." Emily shrugs as she browses through the book, looking at the mental challenges ahead of her. This will definitely be a better pass time activity than worrying about her mum and fiancee.

"Interesting..." Naomi speaks. She looks at Emily for a while before remembering the other thing she was supposed to ask. "By the way, I can buy you books too. But I didn't know what kind you liked. Or if you like to read at all, supposedly there are people out there who doesn't do that."

"I do like to read." Emily's lips tugs up. "And any book is fine, really. Just not fifty shades of grey, maybe."

Naomi grins. "Duly noted."

"But really, Naoms. Colouring books?"

"What! The lady in the store told me they're very good for finding peace of mind." Naomi says matter of factly, picking up one of them to browse through.

"Doesn't hurt to try, then." Emily shrugs. Peace of mind is definitely something she needs.

"But don't ditch the gossip magazines so soon!" Naomi says dramatically as she picks up the copy of HEAT. "Who is Jennifer Lawrence dating these days?"

Emily giggles, and it's like a melody for Naomi's ears. Mission 'cheering Emily up' accomplished.

She stays by her bedside for the rest of the day, looking through the magazines, finding new topics to banter about with the brunette. She finds that she sits with a lot of opinions, and Naomi wonders if anyone's given her room to speak up before. Because she's shy about them, but with a little prodding from Naomi, she opens herself up more.

They laugh as they go through the gossip magazines, and they have deeper conversations with Naomi's favourite magazines about important global causes. The issue of the refugees escaping from ISIS comes up regularly among other happenings out in the world. And for these hours where they just talk about anything and everything, Emily manages to forget about her own situation and what brought her into hospital in the first place, only if for a little while. Still, it's quite a big feat. But not so surprising maybe. It is Naomi after all.

x-x-x-x-x-x

Later in the evening, when a nurse comes in to do the check ups on Emily, Naomi packs up her stuff and leaves to go home, with a promise, like always, to come back the next day. They exchange their goodbyes, but this night Emily's smile shines a little brighter. It doesn't go unnoticed by Naomi or the nurse.

Emily sits staring at the door opening several minutes after Naomi's left while the nurse moves around her.

"All roads lead home." The nurse suddenly says, and it snaps Emily back to the present.

"What?" she asks as she stares questioningly at her. It's her regular nurse, the one who comes in every night. She's become accustomed to her. It is nice for Emily to have regulars checking up on her, so she can establish some assurance. It's a relatively young nurse, probably about the same age as herself, and she has a friendly face. She's everything a nurse should be. At least, that's what Emily thinks.

"Oh, it's just something my grandmother used to say." she smiles back kindly, jotting down some information on her clipboard. "You and the lawyer seems to be hitting it off?"

"Yeah..." Emily's eyes shift back to the door, where Naomi was not so long ago. "She's been amazing. I don't know why she's doing it, but she's truly kindhearted."

"Oh, I know why. You're such a pretty and pleasant little one. Not hard to take to at all. And that one," she points to the door with her pen, "knows exactly what she's doing in every situation. She wouldn't be doing something she doesn't want to or doesn't see a bother with. Obviously she sees something special in you. And I think the gaze goes both ways."

Emily looks down, suddenly embarrassed again, her cheeks going red. The nurse sees it and finds it endearing. No wonder the lawyer is taking the interest in her at all. Too innocent for this world. A truly precious soul.

Of course the nurse knows the story of how Emily got herself in hospital, but she's seen a small change in Emily since she woke up. And it's most evident when the blonde is present. She smiles a bit more day for day. And she thinks that if there's something in this world that can cure whatever made Emily jump – maybe Naomi can be that something.

"Do you want to know why my grandmother always said that?"

Emily looks curiously up at her as the nurse talks and finish her tasks at the same time.

"My grandmother lived here during the war, you see. And she was a jew, and we all know what happened with them then. She lost both her parents and a brother. Ripped away from them on a train station as they were violently brought away. She lived years on the street not knowing what happened to them before she found out they were dead. She was so far down, had nothing of reliance at all. It was the worst days of her life, every day a fight to just get by. But then it all turned."

"What happened?" Emily questioned.

"She met a nice, older guy who gave her a job in a button store. She started working and slowly but surely got on her feet. No, she had no family and barely any friends to trust, but she at least managed to get a roof over her head and a living bread. Though she didn't need to live like that for long, because one day a young and handsome man came into her store. A man who became my grandfather. They fell deeply in love. Oh, she used to tell me stories from that time as we ate her apple pie. They were so enamoured with each other. So they moved in together, got married and built a life together. He took good care of her, gave her the affection and attention she'd lived so many years without. And then they got kids and built their large family."

"Wow... That's quite a story." Emily says, looking at the nurse with round eyes.

"Yeah. She always used to tell me that _'All roads lead home'_ , because no matter how dark a time you go through in your life, it will always lead you to somewhere you can call a home again. It might never be the same again, but it might also be better than it ever was. So whatever path you may take or are on, it will lead you home, eventually. It will lead you to that place or that person where you can feel safety and love."

Emily just simply looked at the nurse without saying a word, just taking in everything she's heard. On one hand it's uplifting and gives her a small hope, on the other hand there is that nagging doubt in the back of her head. The one saying that it will never be alright again. But yet, it's hard for it to reason in the face of such an incredible story of loss and love.

Emily is still deep in thoughts, when she hears the nurse grab the door handle on her way out. She turns to Emily again, giving her a kind smile.

"Remember Emily," her eyes flickers down to the chair Naomi use to sit in, "all roads lead home."


	6. -

Discontinued.

I am sorry, I didn't see this coming when I started this.

It's just.. with everything that's been happening in my life lately, I don't want to indulge in the theme of this story anymore. It's too heavy, it's too deep. And I was going to swing it to a happier place, I really was, but before then I had so much to tell through Emily. But I don't want to indulge myself in it, because I'm trying to see the world with a more positive outlook.

I've been thinking about this for a while, but yesterday made me decide. Someone I know killed themselves. And I just can't.. I can't tell this story at this stage. And I'll probably never come back to it, though who knows. If I feel creativity strike, I'll use it on Paradise Hotel.

I just want you to know, whoever you are out there, and are struggling. Please, please, please seek help. In whatever form.

Try to see the beauty in every day. We can't afford to lose you.

Okay. I love you.

M


End file.
